Hey, so check it out. There are a simply enormous number of theories about how our lovely little blue planet is going to end in about ten months; some say we'll be struck down by an Old-Testament God, some say Jupiter will be impacted by a giant invisible super-planet hiding behind the sun (Nibiru), some say the economy will just... collapse. However people say things will end, the general consensus is that the Mayan Calendar (along with other predictive entities like the I Ching and Nostradamus) predicted an end or a radical change.
This article suggests something novel- that God's period of allowing man to rule himself will come to an end in 2012 (and the Seven Trumpets of the Seventh Seal will be blown). The first four trumpets will destroy the United States (the first of which signifies COMPLETE ECONOMIC COLLAPSE and has already been blown), the fifth will plunge the world into WWIII, and the article fails to specify the exact effect of the final two (I assume it is something approximating "bad"). WWIII will destroy the world and end the reign of man, returning Earth to God's caring hands.
Or something. For starters, it looks like God just cares to specifically target the United States with four (out of seven) of his incredibly valuable trumpets; that's about 57% of the available trumpet-power being used to destroy one nation- leaving approximately 43% of the power for the rest of the world (14% of which is being used to start WWIII). That means that overall, the destruction of the world (news flash: the entire world does not consist solely of America and the not-yet America tumor shaped kind of like some "Canada" place on top of Chicago) has to be accomplished with 29% of the total available trumpet power- also, if 57% of the power is required to demolish a single country and its affiliates, then how is God going to deal with the European Union? Russia is twice the size of the US if it's a square mile, so that would require at least 114% of the total trumpet-power (going off what the US needed). The math just doesn't work out- also, the idea of God destroying us all for being sinful is kind of ridiculous- I mean, everyone knows that planet Nibiru is going to turn Jupiter into a Red Dwarf and we'll be pulled apart by a dual-sun system. I'm kidding.
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ReplyDeleteChristians won't like you disproving their theories. Especially not with that Satanic "math" concept. ;)
ReplyDeleteI like the percentage deconstruction, Ian. Very funny.
ReplyDeleteIt's hilarious to me how many of these theories are so America-centric. It's really ego maniacal for people to claim an Earth-wide apocalypse and then only talk about the effects on the US.
I thought it was pretty funny, and I was curious to see exactly how much power "God" was using to wipe out 50 states plus Canada ('cause we know it's just a tumor on top of Minnesota), Guam, and other U.S. Colonies. It's pretty charming, though, you're right- the majority of theories I've seen so far have hardly acknowledged the rest of the world. That might be due to Google, though; it does filter results to your location.
DeleteI will never understand these people. If god was going to end the era of man’s ability to rule himself, why would he tell man that? Since Christianity is faith-based, god wouldn’t ever tell man anything. Oh the contradictions.
ReplyDeleteI am not an expert on the end of the world, but I am an end of the world on expert. The apocolpyse can not happen untill the anit-christ comes. Using my nowlege of science, particle and anit-particle, than all we need to do is get christ and the anit-christ to come together and they will cancle out leaving the devil, ooo scary. Well the point is this. I will now deliver the point of my topic, the point, which I am about to gives is this. My point being that the anti-christ will not come out of no where, I even think that he is supposed to bring world peace before the appocolyipse. Shit, brain wave. All we need to do in order to prevent the appocolypse is to kill any one who advocates for world peace. Well anyway, we will have some warning before it comes, IF it comes.
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